978 – Forgetting Someone’s Name…After They Just Told It To You

Let’s be honest. Half the time when we ask someone, “What’s your name?” we’re just being social. It’s one of the few questions that we know we can safely ask any stranger we have nothing to say to, giving us those few precious seconds to desperately try and think of a more interesting topic to bring up…well…that’s what I do anyway.

Sometimes, you just don’t think you’ll ever need to know that person’s name. They’re a stranger to you. You only ask because it’s polite. You ask only because you have nothing else to say to them and sometimes, you don’t even realise that you actually asked them what their name is. It’s kinda like saying “How you doin’!”, you ask only because that’s just what people say to people they don’t know.

Well, there’s all that, but honestly speaking (for men anyway), there’s a very good chance that we were far too busy looking at your boobs to listen to pretty much anything you ever said, let alone your name…sorry, we’re men…we’re awful…I know, I know.

It’s safe to say, we don’t always remember people’s names. It ‘s bad enough to forget the name of a person you met a long time ago, that can happen to anyone. It’s downright shameful to meet someone new. To introduce yourselves to each other and just 3 minutes later be faced with the need to introduce that person to other people.

You find yourself in that position where you start uttering the words “…this is…” you point at your new friend and “…”, you draw a complete blank.  You start recalling the entire conversation you had with this person. You remember them say “I’m ¿*”⌐sh“. You now have a clue to what the name is, but you don’t know for sure. Something inside you says “Tash!”, but you’re just not sure if Tash was the last person you met or the other person before that. Tash could be a completely different person.

You’re now faced with a decision; say “…Tash” and risk getting the name completely wrong. Or openly admit to this person that you’re (at that very moment) introducing to other people, that you can’t remember their name. The simple name they literally just told you…shame on you.
Worst of all is when this complete stranger actually had the decency to remember your name and they openly address you by it when they talk to you. They cared enough about who you were to actually remember your name. You didn’t. Then, you’re just the jerk that doesn’t bother remembering people’s names. And how self-absorbed is that?

Forgetting someone’s name (when they literally just told it to you) is…AWKWARD!!

979 – Saying “No” To A Street Charity Worker

How can we, with our brand new Iphones and high definition flat screens refuse to donate just £5, to people that actually need it.

It’s easy to forget that there are people in the world that far less fortunate than you. Most of us live in relative luxury (in comparison to hungry orphans anyway), yet we pretend that  the world’s problems have nothing to do with us.

Deep down you know ignoring the choice to help is wrong. Maybe that’s why saying “No” to a charity worker is so hard. They run up to you on the street, look you square in the eye and force you to actually think about people with far bigger problems than your own. They tell you the gut wrenching facts like “1 in 5 children in [insert 3rd world country] has no access to clean water”, and that by donating the equivalent of just a pint of beer a month, you WILL be helping to solve that problem.

980 – Caught Lying Red-Handed

Everybody lies.

Some people tell bigger lies than others, some tell lots of small pointless lies and some rare individuals actually make a living out of it.
Lying can actually be healthy. I can build relationships (For example: “I love you” or “You’re the best sex I’ve ever had” – the two most common lies in the world :P) and a little white lie can get you out of trouble. Things become extremely awkward for you when people start probing your poorly constructed bullsh*t and your house of cards comes crashing down.

Some people never admit that they’re lying despite the insurmountable damning evidence. They’d rather keep up a lie and in fact lie even more than admit that they are being deceitful. The motto is “Deny! Deny! Deny. It doesn’t matter how obvious it is that I’m telling a lie, I’ll still deny“.

981 – First Kiss Rejection…Sucks!

First dates are awkward, but the most important  awkward moment (especially on a date) is the first kiss.

It’s an awesome feeling when you get to that moment when your faces are inches from each other and you know your date could pull away from you if she chose to, but she leans in and meets your lips half-way. It’s a lot of awkward when she doesn’t. That’s when things start to get awkward.

You tried to make your move. You went for the kiss. She blew you out! “WTF!?”  If you made your move at the end of the night (rookie mistake) then I’m sorry bro, you’re going to have to be on your A-game next time…MWAHAHA! Every fool in the world knows that you don’t leave the first kiss to the end of the night…this is one of the reasons why. 😛

982 – Being Thanked Over & Over Again

Is it weird that I dislike being thanked?
It is?…oh!

Well I do. When I do something for someone, I don’t do it to receive some form of gratitude from them, I do it because it was the right thing to do. I’m not saying I don’t expect a person to show me any gratitude for a favour, but usually all I need to hear is the phrase “Thank you, I really appreciate that.” That’s all I need from you, now I know you own me one (and I will come collecting one day mwahahah!)

Hear’s where things get a little awkward. Sometimes you’ll come across someone that obviously desperately in need of assistance (starving homeless man, lost pet, hungry children) and from the goodness of your heart you decide to go out of your way to help. I understand the need people have have to be grateful, but:
“Thank you”, “Thank you for doing this”

983 – Being In The Room When Two Friends Start Fighting

When two friends fight, and I mean REALLY fight, everyone else around them gets sucked into it. Being caught in a room that suddenly turns into the battle ground for their dispute is difficult and can be excruciatingly awkward.

Nothing has caused more destruction than love (which is ironic if you think about it), so more often than not when these situations erupt, it’s got something to do with it. Being caught in the middle forces you to make a difficult decision and unfortunately the options available to you are as awkward as the next.

You only have 3 available to you. You could:

984 – Running Into A Facebook Friend & Having Nothing Interesting To Talk About

Online, everyone’s got the wit of a gossip columnist. Never underestimate the effect that the extra minute that online chats grant you, can have on a person’s personality

Unfortunately, reality has a way of turning the smart, witty, super funny persona you had going into the dull one you really are. Accidentally running into what you thought was a funny & interesting Facebook friend usually disappoints everybody involved. And it always leaves a bad taste of “awkward” stuck in your mouth

It usually starts off simply enough. A mutual friend posts up a picture status update. You comment. Someone named “Alex” comments. You poke a little fun at this “Alex” person’s comment. “Alex” pokes fun at your profile pic. You take exception and start bantering with “Alex”. Before you know it, you & “Alex” are Facebook friends.

985 – Being Alone In A Crowded Bar

Do you know that scene in the movies where the attractive leading man sits alone in a bar drinking scotch and he meets an equally attractive woman that also happens to be alone?

Yeah that doesn’t happen in real life.

Not to Average Joes like you and I. The best we get is the slightly overweight, middle-aged single mom that’s enjoying her first “night out” with her girlfriends since she had her baby (she will very likely tell you all this herself by the way…in excruciating detail). In reality, nobody ever speaks to the guy in the bar by himself. Do you? That’s why being alone in a crowded bar sucks.

986 – Your First Sexual Experience, Losing Your Virginity

Losing your virginity is probably the most awkward sexual experience, you will ever have. Why? Because sex is awkward.

It’s uncoordinated, limbs are all over the place and you always find yourself working muscles that you’d normally never care about. Most adults eventually get the hang of it, some become great at it, but before that…well, let’s just say I wish there was a simple “How To” guide.

For all you virgins out there, eagerly waiting for the day you finally pop their cherry, here’s a short lesson in avoiding the most awkward situations of first time sex and how to live through them sexually disappoint your girlfriend another day. Here are the 5 most awkward facts about your first sexual experience (that my dad never told me):

987 – The Unwanted Boner, At Exactly The Wrong Moment

A lot’s got to be said about the benefits of being a man. We don’t have to bare children (thank God), we pee wherever we want and we don’t really get judged for the number of people we sleep with. It’s hard to deny that our awkward anatomy does give us certain advantages.

Now if only it would learn to stay down when you tell it to.

It happens to the best of us. Sometimes you can feel it coming and you know you have plenty of time before you need to stand up. It’s those rare moments when you find yourself fighting a bulge in your pants, at exactly the moment you need to stand up and leave, that things get stiff.

Maybe you’re on the train, minding your own own business reading a newspaper. You’re skimming through the pages, looking at a few stories as you go along, when you come across that one picture. You don’t know why or how, but this one picture stirs up instinctual desire in you and you suddenly find yourself flashing back into one of your old sexual memories.