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  • LeonD 6:58 pm on March 16, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , , shame   

    988 – The Walk Of Shame 

    There is no phrase more appropriate for the walk of shame, than “The Walk Of Shame“. It’s exactly what it says on the tin. You’re walking home, and you feel a little ashamed…perfect.

    Every Sunday morning, make it a point to sit on your balcony (between the hours of 6am & 10am) and count how many shamed walkers go past, you’ll be surprised how many of them there are (people are getting laid out there, don’t be left behind, go have some fun of your own ;-)). They’re very easy to spot too,  just look for anyone that’s dressed up far too nicely for a Sunday morning, or inappropriately for the weather.

    The women are usually the easiest to spot, they “clip clop” down the street, their heads hanging so low their messed up hair covers their faces. Shame oozes out of them. The men on the other hand, strut. It’s like they want the world to know they just got some. You can tell that they’re just hoping for someone to ask “Where are you coming from?“, to which the answer will probably be something along the lines of THIS. (More …)

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  • LeonD 2:46 pm on March 15, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: conversations, , friend, ,   

    989 – Listening To Your Crush, Crushing On Someone Else 

    The friend zone sucks!

    It’s like a little black hole in your heart that keeps sucking the sexuality out of you. Once you’ve been friend-zoned, it’s very rare that you’ll come back from it. As a result, most people chose to hold onto their feelings and live in the hope that “maybe one day the moment willcome.”

    With all those bottled up feelings inside, the most awkward (& difficult) thing to hear from your crush, is to listen to them talking about somebody else. They tell you how amazing this other person is, or how good in bed he/she is and how funny or beautiful they are. (More …)

     
  • LeonD 10:25 pm on March 8, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: embarrassing, , , , humiliating   

    990 – Tripping Up In Front Of Strangers (The Scatter Trip) 

    Nothing ruins a stranger’s façade of dignity & grace likencrashing & burning in public. It’s awkward. Sure. But the worst fall to experience is, without a doubt, the Scatter-Trip

    You were probably in a hurry. Your bag was wide open, maybe you were searching for something. Your phone is wedged between your ear & shoulder and you probably had too many things in your hands. Why didn’t you stop walking to concentrate on what you were doing?
    But it’s at that very moment that you hit something. Maybe it a crooked tile on the pavement. You miss a step. Suddenly you find yourself fall face first onto the pavement. You try to compensate, but it’s too late, you come splashing down.
    Your phone hits the ground and dismantles itself (damn cheap phone!), the coins in your pockets scatter and your bag’s contents scatter themselves all over the street. Now you have to try and pick yourself up with as much dignity as you can master. You look up and everyone’s staring. Some jerk is laughing…there’s always the jerk who laughs. (More …)

     
    • fevryone 12:16 am on February 13, 2012 Permalink | Reply

      The only thing that can make this even worse is if the things you scatter are very personal; like a brief case of porn mags & dildos >.>

  • LeonD 5:17 pm on March 6, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , ,   

    991 – Watching A Sex Scene On Your First Date 

    There’s a strange dynamic that occurs on date first date. Especially early when you’ve just met ad you’re not sure where, or how far things a going to go. While the guy is gently trying to nudge things closer to sex, the girl usually feels the social pressure to wait until the second or third date before she sleeps with the man (of course, some women don’t bother waiting).

    So watching a sex scene on your first date, before you’ve even made up your minds about how attracted to each other you are can get…awkward.

    From a man’s perspective, if you’ve managed to get a woman comfortable enough with you to maintain physical contact, the last thing you want to do when a steamy sex scene plays out, is to let her feel you twitch or shift at that precise moment.
    It might not be the worst thing in the world, but being reactive in that situation could easily be misinterpreted as a poorly timed, overly eager first move. It’s just not a good look.

    AWKWARD!

     
  • LeonD 10:27 am on March 2, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , ,   

    992 – Walking Into The Wrong Toilets 

    Creativity is great, We all love creative ideas, but sometimes certain situations call for simplicity and messing with things is bound to create awkward situations for everybody.
    Case in point; toilet signs that are just too damn clever for their own good.

    There should be a law against confusing public toilet signs, especially in places that serve alcohol. Sometimes when nature calls, she screams at the top of her lungs and you’re just too in a rush to stop and evaluate the damn signs. (More …)

     
  • LeonD 10:29 pm on February 22, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , ,   

    993 – Walking In The Same Direction, After Saying Goodbye 

    This is a funny one.

    You know how sometimes, maybe at the end of a date or a drink with a new friend, you get outside ready to part ways and you’ve both mention other prior engagements you have to get to. You might be having a fantastic time together, so you both unconsciously decide to spent 5 more minutes together, to get closure from your interesting conversation

    Ten minutes pass and you finally feel comfortable with the idea of parting ways. It feels right, the conversation is done and you you’ve both run out of stuff to talk about. You say your final goodbyes, you tell each other how much fun you both had and share a hug. (More …)

     
    • chelseagracec 1:28 am on February 23, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      I particularly enjoy when you’re so desperate to stop the awkward extended goodbye that you deviate, going out of your way to not be going the same direction. Then you can stare off like you can’t see them anymore for a few minutes until something opaque takes pity on you and blocks you off from them.

    • leondelafonte 1:51 am on February 23, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      LOL! Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment. Next time I’m doing a complete 180. “Oops you know what, I’m actually going THAT way” 😛

  • LeonD 12:05 am on February 21, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , ,   

    994 – When She Calls You Daddy & You Don’t Like It 

    Note: this doesn’t necessarily relate to just during sex, but in every aspect of the relationship.

    There are two schools opposing schools of thought on the issue of calling your man “Daddy”.

    One side (Pro-Daddy) is perfectly fine with it. They consider “Daddy” a term of endearment. To men that enjoy it, the term represents protector, strength and leadership and it encompasses all of the good qualities that women recognise in them.

    The other side (Anti-Daddy) is wholly creeped out  by the very notion of it.  The idea of associating someone they are sleeping with, with their parents elicits an “Eewww!” response . Most Anti-Daddies still refuse to accept that their parents had sex in order to conceive them. To them, Mom & Dad are mortal gods that miraculously created life out of thin air. (More …)

     
    • eM 3:09 am on February 21, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      This is a toughy. It is a little weird and I agree that it can invoke unwanted images. From a woman’s perspective, being asked “Who’s your daddy?” is uncomfortable. I usually try to ignore it and work the sex talk in another direction. But it’s a toughy because as you said it is 100% acceptable everywhere.

    • leondelafonte 11:19 am on February 21, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      What if the tables are turned though Em? Would you continue dating a guy that called you Mommy?

      Surely that’s worse. To me, that sounds like something a man with severe unresolved issues would say.

    • Dani 9:53 pm on February 21, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      I dated a man who was older than me (by several years). He wanted me to call him daddy- it was so disturbing to me. I don’t get it either. And for the men who want to be called daddy- makes me think that they have some issues…

    • leondelafonte 10:19 pm on February 21, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      I’d love to get an opposing opinion on here, maybe there’s something we’re not getting.

      I’ve noticed that it’s very common in urban culture. Most black female R&B singers use Daddy in their lyrics in. Even Beyonce sings “Give it to momma” in her song Green Light.

  • LeonD 7:56 pm on February 18, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , joke, quirky,   

    995 – The Elevator Fart Just Before Somebody Walks In 

    We all fart, let’s not pretend we don’t.

    Some of us, just have the common courtesy to only break wind when we’re alone. The problem is that people who let it loose in private are the ones that turn the brightest shade of “embarrassed” when they’re caught out.

    The elevator is not the most ideal spot to let a silent fart out, but sometimes you just can’t hold that baby in. Sometimes you’ll walk into one of those big corporate office buildings where you rarely ever find more than two people sharing an elevator. You might even work in one of those lovely buildings.

    On your ride up you suddenly feel an air bubble coming down (damn g-force). This is the point when the little green monster that lives in your head that I like to call, the fart devil, starts whispering dirty little thoughts into your head “Screw it, nobody’s around. Go ahead, let it loose. Nobody’s going to walk in here, you’ve never had to share this elevator before, what are the chances now?”. (More …)

     
  • LeonD 10:34 pm on February 14, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , single,   

    996 – All Alone On Valentine’s Day 

    Being alone on Valentine’s sucks!

    I know for a fact that every single single-person in the world today, dislikes Valentine’s.  Even some people who might be in healthy relationships will openly declare how much they hate Valentine’s day.

    For the few couples that are in happy (usually budding) relationships, Valentine’s day is the most romantic day of the year. It’s the one day of the year where men who are usually “too cool for school”, openly express their love to the women in their lives and women with lovers finally get to live their favourite Disney moment. (More …)

     
    • eM 5:17 am on February 15, 2011 Permalink | Reply

      I’m single on Valentine’s Day and have been on all but 2 of them in my life. Tonight, I’m enjoying a glass of wine and watching The Bachelor. Fake love, I know..lol.. One of the sweetest things a guy has done for me is bring me a ‘Get Well’ kit unexpectedly when I had a flu. That tops any forced bouquet, box of candy or meaningless card. If you’re single, celebrate the other loves in you life. Or be happy that you’re aren’t spending it with someone who isn’t worth your time. 🙂

  • LeonD 10:30 pm on February 10, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , ,   

    997 – The first phone call 

    MOVIES LIE!
    Every time a male protagonist makes a phone call for the first time to his love interest, he’s always charming and he always seems to be completely comfortable talking to a woman that is a relative stranger to him.

    This is not always the case in real life.

    In reality, the first phone conversation with a woman (or man – I am writing this from a guy’s perspective ladies, but I’m sure you can relate) can be one of the most awkward conversations two people can have.
    Sometimes you might not be used to the voice of the person you’re talking to, maybe it’s their accent, the terminology they use, the humour they employ. It could just be their speak pattern. But as often the case, sometimes you both realise that sober, you two just don’t have anything is common. (More …)

     
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