995 – The Elevator Fart Just Before Somebody Walks In

We all fart, let’s not pretend we don’t.

Some of us, just have the common courtesy to only break wind when we’re alone. The problem is that people who let it loose in private are the ones that turn the brightest shade of “embarrassed” when they’re caught out.

The elevator is not the most ideal spot to let a silent fart out, but sometimes you just can’t hold that baby in. Sometimes you’ll walk into one of those big corporate office buildings where you rarely ever find more than two people sharing an elevator. You might even work in one of those lovely buildings.

On your ride up you suddenly feel an air bubble coming down (damn g-force). This is the point when the little green monster that lives in your head that I like to call, the fart devil, starts whispering dirty little thoughts into your head “Screw it, nobody’s around. Go ahead, let it loose. Nobody’s going to walk in here, you’ve never had to share this elevator before, what are the chances now?”.

I hate that little devil, it’s impossible to resist.

So you finally let one go and it’s one of those throat grating farts that make even you question your diet. Unfortunately, this is always the moment when the elevator doors decide to open, and a complete stranger walks into what can only be described at this point, as a human gas chamber.

When the doors close, through the corner of your eye you notice your new companion sniff the air, wince and (strangely – almost to make you feel better) try to cover their nose without making it blatantly obvious that they smelt anything.
Now you’re not only stuck on the elevator with a stranger (a perfectly awkward situation in its own right), but now you’re standing in your own gas room and your elevator companion knows you created it.

They know you farted. They won’t say anything to your face, but once they get off that elevator, you know they’re going to be laughing their heads off at you.

Getting caught farting in the elevator is just…AWKWARD!!