998 – When They Say “I love You” Too Soon
There’s no definitive “I Love You” rule. Ask anybody in this day & age how long you should wait before it’s socially acceptable to tell someone you love them, and the most common answer will usually be something along the lines of “When you mean it”, or “When it feels right”.
Both of which are absolutely awful answers that expect you to be so socially savvy as to know the absolutely right moment and time to say it, without coming off too clingy or needy.
Most of us in this world are not natural seducers, we learn as we go along. So for you to tell me to say it “When it feels right” means I shouldn’t feel weird uttering those words to someone after our second date…right?
One of the most awkward and relationship testing moments in a relationship is the day you hear yourself speak the words “I love you” for the first time to your date and hearing complete silence. Eventually followed with the words “Err, thanks”.
Usually it’s the men that have a hard time saying it back and we usually draw a blank in that moment. I know I do. I start to think “Wait, do I really love her back?”, then I start over analysing what I should say next;
“Do I just tell her I love her now and figure it out later?”
“No. If I say it back now and realise later that I don’t love her, wouldn’t that make m a liar?”
“OK I won’t tell her I love her back, so what do I say now?! Good? OK? Thanks?”
Unfortunately women can read us men like books in these situations, and that moment of hesitation says a lot, they know the score. The more grown up and experienced woman will often simply allow a man the opportunity to say it in his own time, the less mature woman though will feel humiliated and will probably apply pressure on her lover to say it back.
Either way, it’s still an awkward moment.