999 – Bumping into the ex

I am one of those people that can safely say,  (for the most part) he doesn’t feel awkward bumping into ex-girlfriends…for the most part.

Unfortunately, ex lovers are not all created equal.  Some exes are like dear old friends who’ll quickly remind you why you loved them, while others inevitably bring out the demon spawn you’ve been trying to bury deep inside your heart.

The easiest exes to bump into (Type 1 – “the Grown Up”) are the mature ones who (like most grown ups should) openly conversed with you and allowed you full closure when the relationship started dying. By clearing the air, these exes naturally become good friends and in fact, one of my closest friends today is such.

With ex Type 2 (“the Fling“), the reasons for the break up are usually a result of your circumstances rather than a personality clash or a disagreement. Imagine this.
You decide to take a 2 month long solo vacation to Venice and on you 2nd day there, standing on the Ponte dei Sospiri bridge you meet Antonio/Alexandra. With his chiseled jaw & his thick Italian accent or her cat-like eyes & her long silky hair, how could you possibly stop yourself from falling in love.
After your time in Italy comes to an end, you decide end your holiday affair and the airport is that last time you two ever hear from each other.Bumping into Type 2s can be awkward, but it’s only because your body starts pumping itself full of sex hormones and you’re forced to deal with your sudden desire to rip each other’s clothes off  (usualy that’ll happen).

The Drama Queen & King

The most awkward exes to bump into (Type 3 & 4) are; the Long Term Relationship (also known as the One“), that ended very abruptly and “the Drama Queen/King, the ex that manages to bring out the most vicious & vindictive side of you. Type 3 & 4 are the ones that refused to talk to you when things in the relationship fell apart. They are the jerks & bitches that left you wondering why and where things went wrong. They are the ones that simply took off,  leaving you devastated bed, crying your eyes out.

The minute you see each other old feelings crop up. You instantly find yourself going through the full spectrum of human emotion, from joy to down right disgust and eventually rage. The moment you notice each other you don’t know whether to punch them in the face for what they put you through, or to kiss them because you still have remnants of the feelings you once had.

The entire conversation between the two of you will consist of trivial fluff about your lives/work…etc. For whatever reason, the unwritten laws of social etiquette prevent you from dredging up the past and demanding answers. At least not right away.
So you spend 5 of the most uncomfortable minutes in conversation you will have in your life, hoping that this excruciating charade of a conversation will end soon so you can go back home, curl up in a ball in the corner of the room and wallow in your own self pity.
It’s worse when you realise that the ex is doing better without you, completely destroying any egotistical thoughts you might have had that they would crumble without you.

Meeting the ex is truly a moment we can all agree is just plain AWKWARD!